Let me tell you about myself. My name is Rachel, I'm 24 years old and I own everything Barry Manilow has ever recorded. He is my Jesus. I watch trash T.V. so I can feel better about myself. I love to watch Richard Dawkins debate Christians. I still watch the Disney Channel. I've seen every episode of Wizards of Waverly Place. To sum it all up I'm the best there is, plain and simple. I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.